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Review #207 of 365
Film: Barnyard: The Original Party Animals [PG] 83 minutes
WIP™ Scale: $6.00
Where Viewed: AMC Westminster Promenade 24, Westminster, CO
When 1st Seen: 6 August 2006
Time: 8:20 p.m.
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DVD | soundtrack |
Click for 'Review Lite' [a 150-word or less review of this film]
Have you ever sat down in a luxurious theatre seat at a great multi-plex with your frosty beverage and a medium lightly buttered popcorn only to have the very first scene nearly the first frame of a movie 'udderly' ruin the mood and make it nearly impossible for you to 'cowncentrate' on the film for the next 82 minutes? Well, if you're a farmer, a biology teacher, an elementary school teacher, a rancher, a dairy technician, a milk delivery person, a veterinarian, a zoologist, any variety of 'bovinephile', Gary Larson, Elmer's Glue® company employee, butcher, or any other person that knows anything, even the slightest bit of anatomical knowledge, about cows, don't see Barnyard: The Original Party Animals. All I needed was one look at a father and son cow sporting their udders to sh-udder. "What? Male cows do not have udders! Do they?" I actually sort of started to doubt myself. I thought, maybe they do? Maybe all this time, I've been confused. NO! Male cows, more often referred to as bulls for some reason, do not have this equipment flapping on their belly. This equipment is found ONLY on female cows for the purpose of nursing calves, though I think most of us think of them more often as suppliers of a glorious delicacy we use to make butter, cheese, and more importantly ice cream! Recently, I wrote extensively on my dismay with the writer and director of The Ant Bully for scientific inaccuracies that were entirely unnecessary. Well, this 'cowlossal' gaff, whether intentional or not, forces me to retract that entire diatribe. The Ant Bully people may have given ants hearts and mammalian eyes which they don't have, and run roughshod over what we know about ant behavior; but, at least, they did not put udders on male cows. I have no clue what writer/director Steve Oedekerk, was thinking. I have to imagine this was done on purpose. The amount of extra time needed to animate all of these udders on the male cows would certainly not have made it worth it to do unless someone thought the male cows should really have udders. Was there some discussion, and somebody said, "They don't look like cows? They all need udders."? Whatever the cause or case, all I know is that my mind could barely focus on anything else for the rest of the movie.
" Male cows do not have udders! [The film is] too scary for younger kids and too patronizing for older ones."
What I did get out of what little focus was left, I didn't really care for very much. Here's the thing. If this is an animated movie for kids, for what age kids is it pitched? Young kids will find the scenes of the cunning coyotes coming to the hen house and saying evil things like "We're taking six of you tonight, and there's nothing you can do about it," with snarling, drooling jaws, horrifying. The climactic battle between the cows and the coyotes may have been scarier than most of the stuff in Monster House, it's hard to say. Older kids who might not be bothered by these scenes may not relate to animated cows delivering platitudes such as "A big man saves himself, a bigger man saves others." The film has lots of very good and deep messages for older kids not the least of which are the drawbacks to a life of non-stop partying. Still, I've known very few kids who would be old enough not to be scared by this film, but young enough to accept fatherly advice from a talking male cow with an udder. Which is really a shame, but I think that's the way it is today. It's also a shame because the voice actors including Kevin James, Courtney Cox, Sam Elliott, Danny Glover, Andie MacDowell and this summer's queen of ubiquity, Wanda Sykes, all brought something unique to their characters vocally. Likewise, the computer animators have rendered an incredible barnyard world similar to what I always used to dream my Play-doh® creations looked like. In fact, it's a pretty good story on many levels. Unfortunately, it's too scary for younger kids and too patronizing for older ones.
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Click for 'Review Lite' [a 150-word review of this film]
Click for 'Review Lite' [a 150-word review of this film]
Barnyard (Widescreen Version) [DVD](2006)
Barnyard [DVD](2006)
Projects Featuring the Voice Actors:
Kevin James
• Courteney Cox • Sam ElliottDanny Glover
• Wanda Sykes • Andie MacDowellProjects Involving the Director:
Steve Oedekerk
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| CD Soundtrack | DVD |
Barnyard (2006) Review-lite [150-word cap]
One look at a father and son cow sporting udders will cause you to sh-udder. This 'cowlossal' gaff, whether intentional or not, made me barely able to focus for the duration of the movie. Worse, the film doesn't know its audience. Young kids will find the scenes of the cunning coyotes coming to the hen house and snatching chickens horrifying. While older kids may not relate to animated cows delivering platitudes such as "A big man saves himself, a bigger man saves others." The film has lots of great messages for older kids not the least of which are the drawbacks to a life of non-stop partying. The voice actors including Kevin James, Courtney Cox, Danny Glover, and Sam Elliott, brought something unique to their characters. The computer animators have rendered an incredible barnyard world. Unfortunately, the film is too scary for younger kids and too patronizing for older ones.
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