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Review #234 of 365
Film: Crank (2006) [R] 83 minutes
WIP™ Scale: $11.75
Where Viewed: AMC Loews 600 North Michigan, Chicago, IL
When 1st Seen: 2 September 2006
Time: 7:10 p.m.
Soundtrack: Download now from 
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Click for 'Review Lite' [a 150-word or less review of this film]
You wake up. You don't feel so good. Room's spinning. Did your job last night. Stumble around. Neck's sore. Still in yesterday's clothes. Try drinking water. Doesn't help. Stumble around. Notice a recorded DVD stuck to your plasma screen. Crude expletives written on it. Shove it in the player. Turns out. Last night. After doing your job. Paid killer for hire. Other people weren't so happy. Sneaked into your crib. Popped your neck with a syringe full of the Beijing Cocktail. Stuff binds your blood cells. Inhibits receptors. Only way to stay alive? Run like hell. Don't dare relax. You need adrenaline flowing all the time. If you stop, you die.
"Fast pace race."
Sound like fun? The dude is Chev Chelios (Jason Statham). The guy from Transporter. For nearly all of a frantic, action-packed 83 minutes, he's a man on a mission. Save his girl Eve (Amy Smart). The dudette from Butterfly Effect. Kill his 'killer'. Get his revenge. Stay alive. Co-directors / co-writers Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor supply one non-stop, Crank steamroller. Cool cinematography. Split screens. Start to finish action. An ending that stuns. Buy popcorn and a cool drink. Don't be surprised if they're untouched by ending credits. You won't have time to notice. Focus on Jason Statham. Drives through mall. Roughs up other bad guys. Steals Red Bull® by the case. Kills his killer's brother. Man on the run. Steals cars. Steals police motorcycles. Robs a hospital of all its epinephrine. Terrorizes LA in a hospital gown. Takes no crap. Dishes it back. Has intercourse with his girlfriend in the middle of China town. That's how this cat rolls.
" Disaster chase."
Acting's good. Directing too. Writing's ok. Mr. Statham rocks. Amy Smart rolls. Some dialogue's cheesy. Paying attention's too E-Z. Premise is wild. Action is tight. Script's all right. Looking for a fight? Turn right. Run a mile. Projectile. Epinephrine's most erectile. Don't look back. Fast pace race. Disaster chase. Final climax. Seize revenge. Don't look down. Don't look up. Then it ends. Wear Depends®. Where? Depends.
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Click for 'Review Lite' [a 150-word review of this film]
Click for 'Review Lite' [a 150-word review of this film]
Other Projects Featuring: Jason Statham • Amy Smart
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Crank (2006) Review-lite [150-word cap]
Wake up. You don't feel good. Room's spinning. Did your job. Stumble around. Neck's sore. Turns out, last night. After doing your job. Paid killer for hire. Other people weren't happy. Sneaked into your crib. Popped your neck with the Beijing Cocktail. Stop and you die. The dude's Chev Chelios (Jason Statham). For a full, frantic, action-packed 83 minutes, he's on a mission. Save his girl (Amy Smart). Kill his 'killer'. Get his revenge. Stay alive. Co-directors / writers Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor supply one non-stop, Crank steamroller. Cool cinematography. Split screens. An ending that stuns. Focus on Jason Statham. Drives through mall. Roughs up other bad guys. Steals cars. Terrorizes LA in a hospital gown. That's how this cat rolls. Acting's good. Directing too. Writing's ok. Premise is wild. Action's tight. Script's all right. Fast pace race. Disaster chase. Final climax. Seize revenge. Don't look down. The end.
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