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Review #277 of 365
Film: The Marine (2006) [PG-13] 93 minutes
WIP™ Scale: $8.50
Where Viewed: Century 16 Belmar, Lakewood, CO
When 1st Seen: 15 October 2006
Time: 4:55 p.m.
Film's Official Website
Directed by: John Bonito
Screenplay by: Michelle Gallagher and Alan McElroy
Story by: Michelle Gallagher
Featured Cast (Where You Might Remember Him/Her From):
John Cena ("Manhunt") • Robert Patrick (Terminator 2: Judgment Day) • Kelly Carlson ("Nip/Tuck") • Anthony Ray Parker (The Matrix) • Jerome Ehlers (The Great Raid) • Drew Powell ("Malcolm in the Middle")
Click for 'Review Lite' [a 150-word or less review of this film]
If there's a television network out there looking for a way to bring the 13-22 male audience back to Saturday nights, WWE-superstar John Cena's new film The Marine directed by John Bonito off a Michelle Gallagher and Alan McElroy script might be just the ticket. Brain numbing action, brutal mortal combat, and a new action hero named John Triton (John Cena) would seem to be the ideal recipe for just such a show. As far as how the thing played out in the major motion picture, well, let's just say, it's on par with a Universal Studios® Tour stunt show when it comes to plot and character development, logical action, and lessons learned. Fans of John Cena can take solace in knowing none of this, is John Cena's fault unless he's was an un-credited producer on the film.
The story begins with Sergeant John Triton's discharge from the United States Marine Corps for failing to follow direct orders on a dangerous rescue mission in Iraq. Had he waited for back up, fellow marines whom he was charged with saving would have been executed by rebel operatives. This excuse, however, did not change the JAGs official determination that he be discharged. Now what's a big, beefy marine supposed to do? Well, he returns home to his wife, Kate, in South Carolina and immediately takes a position as a security guard. The job lasts one day for he find himself incapable of controlling his training and throws an unwelcome visitor to the building through a plate glass window. This even inspires Kate to suggest they go on a vacation somewhere in the mountains. Meanwhile, the day before, while John was going 'Rambo' on building intruders, a sharky jewel thief named Rome (Robert Patrick) and his gang of misfits are holding up a nearby Diamond Importer leaving with $12 million in diamonds, and two dead police officers. As fate, or bad-script concoction would have it, the runaway diamond thieves and the Tritons just happen to stop for gas at the same gas station. And while John is in getting Kate a diet Coke® and paying for the gas, a couple of Smokeys pull up in one of the fastest-looking patrol cars ever built. During the mutual fill ups, one Smokey starts talking to Rome and upon returning from the bathroom, Rome's henchman Morgan (Anthony Ray Parker) shoots the cop dead. This incites a litany of consequences, the other Smokey barrels back into the car to get away, but not until after major damage is done to Rome's getaway Cadillac. Rome, therefore, decides to take John's car, not realizing that Kate is in there. There's a ton of more shooting and blowing stuff up, the diamond gang gets away in John's car, and the station blows to smithereens with John narrowly escaping the blast. Realizing he's Kate's only hope, he rescues the remaining Smokey from his car, gets him to put pressure on the wound, and takes his care for a high speed chase to shake down the Rome gang and get back his wife. A high-speed chase ensues with lots of action, shooting, and car destruction. Unfortunately, Rome's gang gets away by fleeing into the alligator-infested swamp on foot. John Triton who survives a 30-foot fall out of an exploding car launched over a cliff leaps up to pursue.
The story begins with Sergeant John Triton's discharge from the United States Marine Corps for failing to follow direct orders on a dangerous rescue mission in Iraq. Had he waited for back up, fellow marines whom he was charged with saving would have been executed by rebel operatives. This excuse, however, did not change the JAGs official determination that he be discharged. Now what's a big, beefy marine supposed to do? Well, he returns home to his wife, Kate, in South Carolina and immediately takes a position as a security guard. The job lasts one day for he find himself incapable of controlling his training and throws an unwelcome visitor to the building through a plate glass window. This even inspires Kate to suggest they go on a vacation somewhere in the mountains. Meanwhile, the day before, while John was going 'Rambo' on building intruders, a sharky jewel thief named Rome (Robert Patrick) and his gang of misfits are holding up a nearby Diamond Importer leaving with $12 million in diamonds, and two dead police officers. As fate, or bad-script concoction would have it, the runaway diamond thieves and the Tritons just happen to stop for gas at the same gas station. And while John is in getting Kate a diet Coke® and paying for the gas, a couple of Smokeys pull up in one of the fastest-looking patrol cars ever built. During the mutual fill ups, one Smokey starts talking to Rome and upon returning from the bathroom, Rome's henchman Morgan (Anthony Ray Parker) shoots the cop dead. This incites a litany of consequences, the other Smokey barrels back into the car to get away, but not until after major damage is done to Rome's getaway Cadillac. Rome, therefore, decides to take John's car, not realizing that Kate is in there. There's a ton of more shooting and blowing stuff up, the diamond gang gets away in John's car, and the station blows to smithereens with John narrowly escaping the blast. Realizing he's Kate's only hope, he rescues the remaining Smokey from his car, gets him to put pressure on the wound, and takes his care for a high speed chase to shake down the Rome gang and get back his wife. A high-speed chase ensues with lots of action, shooting, and car destruction. Unfortunately, Rome's gang gets away by fleeing into the alligator-infested swamp on foot. John Triton who survives a 30-foot fall out of an exploding car launched over a cliff leaps up to pursue.
"… on par with a Universal Studios® Tour stunt show … this one is not all that it could be…"
The rest of the film consists of about 20% bickering between the members of Rome's crew leading to some of thee ending up dead and out of their share of the diamond loot, 20% Kate fighting with the crew and especially Rome's girlfriend, Angela (Abigail Bianca), and 5% the police demonstrating increasing levels of ineptitude, and 50% John Triton in pursuit. The showdown comes at the very end of the film between Rome and John Triton in what has to be the most preposterous fights of all time. In the film, there's an not-so-inside joke where one of Rome's gang members says of Triton, "This guy's like the Terminator"—recall that Robert Patrick was the liquid metal Terminator sent to destroy the Arnold Schwarzenegger Terminator. Well, if he were the T2, the final fight between Rome and Triton would have made sense, but here's this older, scrawnier little twig guy Robert Patrick throwing punches at WWE superstar John Cena and single handedly knocking him off his feet. It's ridiculous. You wouldn't think that Patrick weighs as much as one of John's biceps. Well, it's a fitting ending to a film that, as I say, would make for a great Saturday evening action show for television. As far as movies go, this one is not all that it could be. Instead, the contrived plot simply pits Cena against each member of Rome's gang, and none is a very interesting opponent. The fighting as well as the fight scenes lack panache. They are just old-fashioned punching, tossing into tables, and hitting John Cena with sledgehammers, pipes, and boards. I don't think I'm alone in thinking that when I see an action film, I want the good guy to be able to toss the little bad guys away without just a scratch that's going to turn into a cool scar later. I don't like to see him tossed around like any other lightweight. It's not logical and it's not fun.
So, here's some advice, unless you are a really, really major John Cena fan and have to see this film right away, go to see The Protector if you want a ridiculous plot with great fighting, go to see Jet Li's Fearless if you want great plot and great fighting, and acquire District B13 on DVD if you want to see a decent plot with some of the best and coolest fighting scenes of the year. As for this marine, let's hope that some tv executive out there is reading this and thinking about how cool it would be to bring back Saturday night television with a bang. John Cena is certainly a good guy. He could benefit from a bit more experience and acting training, but you put him in a movie with the plot of The Terminator and he would be as good as young Arnold plus easier to understand.
So, here's some advice, unless you are a really, really major John Cena fan and have to see this film right away, go to see The Protector if you want a ridiculous plot with great fighting, go to see Jet Li's Fearless if you want great plot and great fighting, and acquire District B13 on DVD if you want to see a decent plot with some of the best and coolest fighting scenes of the year. As for this marine, let's hope that some tv executive out there is reading this and thinking about how cool it would be to bring back Saturday night television with a bang. John Cena is certainly a good guy. He could benefit from a bit more experience and acting training, but you put him in a movie with the plot of The Terminator and he would be as good as young Arnold plus easier to understand.
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The Marine (2006) Review-lite [150-word cap]
If there's a television network looking for a way to bring back Saturday nights, WWE superstar John Cena's new film The Marine might just be the ticket. Brain numbing action, brutal mortal combat, and a new hero named John Triton (John Cena) sounds like a recipe for just such a show. As far as how it played as a major motion picture, it's on par with a Universal Studios® Tour stunt show when it comes to plot, character development, and logical action. Fans of John Cena can take solace as none of this is his fault. Some advice: instead go see The Protector if you want a ridiculous plot with great fighting, go see Jet Li's Fearless if you want great plot and great fighting, and acquire District B13 on DVD if you want a decent plot with some of the best and coolest fighting scenes of the year.
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