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Review #367 of 365
Movie Review of Primeval (2007) [R] 93 minutes
WIP™ Scale: $3.50
Where Viewed: Metropolitan Metrolux 14, Loveland, CO
When 1st Seen: 14 January 2007
Time: 2:20 p.m.
Film's Official Website • Film's Trailer
DVD Release Date: unscheduled
Directed by: Michael Katleman ("Reunion", "Tru Calling", "Gilmore Girls")
Written by: John Brancato (Catwoman) and Michael Ferris (Catwoman)
Featured Cast (Where You Might Remember Him/Her From):
Dominic Purcell ("Prison Break") • Brooke Langton (The Benchwarmers) • Orlando Jones (Drumline) • Jürgen Prochnow (The Da Vinci Code) • Gideon Emery (The Reel Monkey) • Gabriel Malema (debut)
Click for 'Review Lite' [a 150-word or less review of this film]
Excellent trailer editing kudos go to the editors of the preview for Primeval. Unfortunately, the advice that must be given is to savor the trailer, let it simmer in the mind, and then just leave it at that. Imagine the film that could have been and avoid the film that is. Director Michael Katleman, perhaps known for directing umpteen zillion truly awesome television series episodes makes a shaky feature film outing by agreeing to helm this film that wouldn't seem too far out of place on the Sci-Fi Channel's hokey creature feature night. The script by a pair of guys who have delivered some great scripts Catwoman not being their finest but who didn't love their Terminator 3 quite a lot? Well, these two must have fallen asleep at the keyboard while writing this dismal, underachieving, low-brow giant crocodile script. Egad! From start to finish, one gets the impression that some Hollywood studio executive under pressure listened to a pitch, looked at January 2007 and thought,"Oh my gosh, here's an opportunity to make some quick cash," but who failed to read the script, look at the cast, or note that Blood Diamond, an infinitely better film when it comes to making a political statement about genocide in Africa than Primeval. First and foremost, if your advertising campaign has to rely on a literal bait and switch "Inspired by the true story of the most prolific serial killer in history" which is really not a mysterious being from an alternate universe nor a homicidal African dictator in disguise, no, the killer in question, is a giant crocodile, named Gustave, who has gotten the taste for humans rather than wildebeest by chowing on so many bodies floating in his river, then you know you're in trouble. After eating a V.I.P., a noted large scale (no pun intended) herpetologist and animal trapper, Matthew Collins (Gideon Emery) is hired to trap the beast alive. He brings a crack team to assist in this croc hunt and production of a tv special including mysterious Tim Manfrey (Dominic Purcell), token female and journalist with a heart Aviva Masters (Brooke Langton), and Steven Johnson (Orlando Jones). He hires local guide, Jacob Krieg (Jürgen Prochnow) to lead them on the expedition. With a gigantic cage, a blessing by a local Shaman who predicts they will find the croc and then meet their death, and all the latest electronic tracking gear, they set out to use a live goat to snare the croc. [Why would a goat work if this croc has only a taste for humans? Alas, but that is only one but oh so many problems with the logic in the plot of this film.] Once in a village by the river where Gustave haunts, the team hires locals to carry the cage. Along the way, Jojo (Gabriel Malema) attaches himself to the group hoping they will take him back to America. He exhibits bravery beyond his diminutive stature and physical frame to ensure his favor with the group in fact risking his life to save theirs a time or two. In the meantime, while on his own personal expedition to find local footage to enhance the documentary, and after the group fails to snare Gustave the first time using the goat, Steven Johnson sets out on foot alone. He films local wildlife just before coming up a band of military types who, in front of his watchful lens, assassinate in cold blood the local Shaman, his wife, and daughter. Steven escapes, but when he shows the footage to his horrified mates, a spy in their group alerts the renegade militia to the existence of the footage. This marks the group for elimination if the crocodile fails to consume them first.
"…dismal, underachieving, low-brow…"
The film then becomes a survival race for all involved with the rebels militia hunting them on the land and Gustave hunting them in the water. Who will outlast these two dangerous enemies? Who cares? The only character about whom the audience might develop the slightest care is Jojo. Yes, let the little guy make it back to America if that is where he truly wants to go. As for the rest, whether or not they survive seems of little consequence. Worse, some of the dialogue is patently offensive. At one point, after all of the trauma he's faced in Africa, Steven Johnson makes references to the notion that 'his people' were lucky to be taken off the continent and that slavery was worth it. In all good conscience I can find no imaginable way in which this character's assertions on the topic are a good thing, and I am surprised that Orlando Jones would be willing to say such lines. Apparently, they are supposed to be funny. Well, they are not. Rather they are socially irresponsible and gravely callous. Many of his lines, in fact, fall into this category on other topics as well. Many critics finish a review like this with a 'wait for DVD' tag. Well, I'd take it further and urge my original statement, stick with your imagination of this film based on the preview, there's no way it wasn’t better than the actual film.
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Click for 'Review Lite' [a 150-word review of this film]
Click for 'Review Lite' [a 150-word review of this film]
Other Projects Featuring Primeval (2007)
Cast Members
Dominic Purcell
• Brooke Langton • Orlando JonesJürgen Prochnow
• Gideon Emery • Gabriel MalemaDirector
Michael Katleman
Co-writers
John Brancato
• Michael FerrisPrimeval (2007) Review-lite [150-word cap]
Director Michael Katleman makes a shaky feature film outing at the helm of Primeval, a film that wouldn't seem out of place on the Sci-Fi Channel's hokey creature feature night. Relying on a literal bait and switch advertising campaign "Inspired by the true story of the most prolific serial killer in history" which turns out to be a giant crocodile named Gustave who craves humans, should let you know you're in trouble. After eating a V.I.P., animal trapper Matthew Collins (Gideon Emery) is hired to catch the beast alive and shoot a documentary of the effort. The nosey cameraman, however, puts their lives at risk when he films the assassination of a local shaman by militia forces on a routine journey for stock footage. Ultimately, there's no one to care about, and the film spirals out of control turning into a race against death by evil for all involved.
1 comment:
Ugh. I guess it's a good thing I passed on this one.
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