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Review #436 of 365
Movie Review of The Hills Have Eyes II (2007) [R] 89 minutes
WIP™ Scale: $3.00
Where Viewed: United Artists Denver Pavilions Stadium 15, Denver, CO
When 1st Seen: 28 March 2007
Time: 8:30 p.m.
Film's Official Website • Film's Trailer
DVD Release Date: unscheduled
Directed by: Martin Weisz (60 Seconds)
Written by: Jonathan Craven (The Outpost) and Wes Craven (Pulse)
Featured Cast (Where You Might Remember Him/Her From):
Michael McMillian ("Saved") • Jessica Stroup (Left in Darkness) • Daniella Alonso (Hood of Horror) • Jacob Vargas (Bobby) • Lee Thompson Young (Akeelah and the Bee) • Ben Crowley (Inside Man) • Eric Edelstein (Suits on the Loose) • Flex Alexander (Snakes on a Plane) • Reshad Strik ("Headland") • Michael Bailey Smith (The Hills Have Eyes) • David Reynolds (The Darkroom) • Derek Mears (Zathura: A Space Adventure)
Click for 'Review Lite' [a 150-word or less review of this film]
Truly terrible there was no sense in making this film, and there is no sense in going to see it. The Hills Have Eyes II, the sequel to one of 2006's worst films, and both are remakes of Wes Craven's original horror gore fests that might well have just been left to ride the VHS shelves of independent video stores all claiming to have the world's largest collections. Pointless, depraved, and indifferent, the story returns us to the secret area of New Mexico where the government tested atomic weapons prior to their use in real life. The radioactive fall out from some half century ago managed to radiate the miners who then evolved into genetic messes of humanoids—not distant enough we can only assume as to not be able to reproduce with non-radiated women. These homicidal, cannibalistic maniacs killed in gruesome ways the entire Carter family in The Hills Have Eyes I who were trying to take a short cut on their vacation trip. This time around, it's a rookie squad of PFCs training for missions in Khandahar that will become their prey. With clever names like PFC Napoleon, Amber, Missy, Crank, and Stump, this hapless and hair-brained, though occasionally brave, group of half trained soldier will attempt to defeat this well-organized, cunning, blood-thirsty, cave-dwelling clan.
" Truly terrible…Don't waste your funds on this film."
They will learn many lessons. Don't leave your unit. Don't go to the bathroom alone. Don't turn your back on a zombie like creature. Never assume a zombie like creature is dead. Don't leave your only exit vehicle unguarded. Don't bring only one magazine of ammunition on a rescue mission. Don't play with dynamite. Oh, there are probably more great lessons too. This film is practically a training mission in stupidity. You would think that if anyone knows that it would be Wes Craven and Son. Wes Craven is a master of horror, and while we have learned to accept one idiotic baby sitter going down a scary hallway in a dark house because she heard a noise, we cannot accept an entire unit of even half-trained soldiers doing the stupid things they do in this film. Never. Probably Director Martin Weisz should have been let in on this fact too. Now, with the exception of the way-over-the-top performance by Jacob Vargas who cannot figure out what his character is about, most of the others: Michael McMillian as Napoleon, Daniella Alonso as Missy, and Jessica Stroup as Amber do decent jobs in their roles. They also demonstrate the bravery and intelligence one would hope for in the National Guard. Unfortunately, the rest of their squad is too proud, too selfish, or too gonzo-oriented to serve them well. There is no way these people would have lasted a day in the real military. Nonetheless, this story has zero to offer in the way of anything new worthy of seeing. If you are one of the people who is seeking the latest, most intense, gorefest, this is not the ticket. It's really no more extreme than its predecessor. Not that I'm begging for more of these kinds of films or more intensity. Quite the opposite, I'd be fine if this were the last one ever made—alas, I know Hostel 2 is coming out this summer. With as much talent and great material as there is out there in the world, it's a wonder that anyone bothers, though, with idiotic, worthless pieces of rubbish like this film. The only real way to stop these films is for people to stop going to them. I used my free movie pass I got the other day because there were technical difficulties in the projection room for the film I paid to see, so I do not have to feel guilty about contributing to this trend, and I am writing to now discourage people from seeing it. Don't waste your funds on this film.
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Click for 'Review Lite' [a 150-word review of this film]
Click for 'Review Lite' [a 150-word review of this film]
Other Projects Featuring The Hills Have Eyes II (2007)
Cast Members
Michael McMillian
• Jessica Stroup • Daniella AlonsoJacob Vargas
• Lee Thompson Young • Ben CrowleyEric Edelstein
• Flex Alexander • Reshad StrikMichael Bailey Smith
• David Reynolds • Derek MearsDirector
Martin Weisz
Co-writers
Jonathan Craven
• Wes Craven| DVD | VHS | |
| Related DVD | Related DVD | Related CD |
The Hills Have Eyes II (2007) Review-lite [150-word cap]
Don't waste your money on this idiotic, worthless, piece of rubbish.
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