Spoiler Points for I Know Who Killed Me (2007)

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Spoiler Points for I Know Who Killed Me (2007) [R] 105 minutes

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Ok, ok, so here's goes. First, I'm not going to lie. I admit that I really fell for the psych job here. I thought surely Aubrey Fleming just had a split personality. I never guessed that she had a twin until she was surfing Ask Jeeves (nice plug) for answers to unexplained bleeding, etc. where she discovers and watches the segment on the simultaneous death of twin brothers. So, yeah, I fell for it. Maybe a lot of people figured it out right away. Personally, I thought it was a tantalizing twist, far better than people have been giving this movie credit for. It's too bad that Jeff Hammond (the writer) didn't realize exactly what he cooked up here, because there was a lot more room for fun. He only touches the surface of realization that Dad (Neal McDonough) knows all along that Dakota is really Dakota. What? How can he stand this, and moreover, why doesn't he do anything about finding the real Aubrey when he realizes that this is the twin? What kind of a father is he? He must know that Aubrey is still kidnapped and possible on her deathbed. No, he spends his time playing along hoping, I guess, that this Aubrey will be better than no Aubrey, after all, he's kept the lie of his long-dead biological child alive and secret from his wife all this time. Personally, I think Mr. McDonough has that sort of creepy, almost serial-killer look at times in the film, which at first I thought was awful, and then I realized later that it may have been inadvertently great casting because there was a moment when you think he might be the serial killer. Julia Ormond works so hard to hold the film together, nobody gives her much credit. Meanwhile, I thought Lindsay Lohan was terrific. It's easy to poke fun at a celebrity when she's down. She's been making some bad choices in life. Well, she was a superstar at what, age 9? So, I say give her some slack. At times, in this film, she's mesmerizing. Yes, truly. I don’t really care if people disagree. These are the same people declaring The Simpsons Movie as the best film of the year. What? In the same week with Rescue Dawn, which might actually be the best film of the year, certainly the one of the best performances by two actors of the year. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed The Simpsons Movie and thought it was pretty good. But, don't bust on I Know Who Killed Me just because you don't like Lindsay Lohan's social life. Give the writer and the director at least some credit actually for endowing this film with some deeper level meanings. Maybe the blue all the time was too obvious—no one complained about the red in The Sixth Sense! Seriously, though, give the film some credit.

My biggest qualm with the story, though was the idiotic car ride with Dakota and Dad to free Aubrey from her stained glass coffin buried somewhere in the woods. Yeah, so they drive to Mr. Norquist's house—the evil piano teacher, serial killer—and they don't call the police?!?! Hun?!?!? Dakota says, "There's no time?" Ever hear of a cell phone? You can call from the car! Well, it would have made more sense if they had gotten into the car and fled to the home, and the cell phones got no signal. That, actually, I could believe. I've been there many times. It's not clear why the police were not outside their house either? They were running the place like a prison before, and now all of the sudden they're gone? Ok, so then they arrive, and Dad hops out with his tire iron to take on a cold-blooded serial killer? Huh? Dumb. This wasn't just one of those dumb moves in cheesy Scary Movies where the innocent, young baby sitter goes around a scary house at night, in the dark, chasing down a scary noise she heard in the basement. There is no excuse for this idiocy. Sure enough, though, Dad doesn't make it. He's on a concrete slab in the basement before you can bat your eye. Now, at this point, wouldn't you call the police? Well, not Dakota Moss. She's bad, she's bionic, she's ready to rumble. It was sweet justice watching her saw off Norquist's hand after his heinous tortures he put his victims through. But, it's hard to imagine he'd be able to run around, catch her, and tie her up with only one hand. Yeah, but it made for great dramatic effect. If your heart doesn't pound during this part, poke yourself to see if you're still alive. Hey, if you sat through this much of the film, you must have liked something about it. Anyway, the end would have been great (she frees her sister from the grave by the way in case you didn't know that because you left for a second helping of over-priced nachos) had a few things been more well-written:

(a) They should have used their cell phones to call the police from the car. The police would have taken time to get there and things could have still gone according to the original script only now making more sense,

(b) Dad should have had a gun, not a tire iron for his weapon, and we should have seen him make a fatal turn right into the blue crystal knife of the Grim Piano Man, Douglas Norquist,

(c) the police should have arrived just as Dakota has carved a new hole in the side of Douggie's neck, and then to help her dig up Aubrey—come one, it's no fun if we don't get to see the look on the creepy face of Agent Phil Lazarus (Spencer Garrett) who thought Dakota was a complete nut case, when she gets her revenge and the twist is revealed to all.

On a similar note, maybe it's just me, but I would have liked some final closure scenes with Aubrey, Dakota, and Aubrey's mom now that she has two daughters. And come one, how is Jerrod going to explain things to Aubrey. Or, worse, is he going to end up the in pysch ward himself for what he did? I mean what kind of a sick puppy goes to town with a girl just out of the hands of a serial killer that chopped off major parts of her body as part of his torture? Yikes.

So, there you go. Personally, I though I Know Who Killed Me wasn't half bad. The writer and director, I'm assuming, learned a lot from the experience, and I'm betting their next film will clean up some of these kinds of things and will be a real winner.