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Spoiler Points for Sydney White (2007) [PG-13] 90 minutes
WIP™ Scale: $12.75
Film's Official Website • Film's Trailer
Click to read the non-spoiler review
The Fairytale Ending:
Rachel Witchburn (Sara Paxton) bribes a dark computer hacker with a king-sized box of Hot Pockets™ to plant a poison virus in Sydney (Amanda Bynes) White's Apple notebook computer. The virus completely erases her hard drive including her term research paper for her history class. This, on the eve of their great debate where Sydney White, candidate for student body president will face off against the incumbent Rachel Witchburn. Her solution will be to pull an all-nighter and get the paper done, which she does. After pressing the 'send' button on her email screen, she falls sound asleep in the library study carrel where her mother's initial have been carved back in 1980. Her slumber is so deep and unfortunately running into the debate time of 9:00 a.m. that only the handsome Tyler Prince, who knows this is her favorite place to study, can awaken her in time. He narrowly accomplishes this important role just in time with a potent kiss to her lips. She arrives on the platform for the debate as the first question is asked. Rachel responds with a contrived answer pandering to her fellow Greek students and ends with a comment about how none of Sydney's supposed supporters have shown up apparently to support her. Just as Sydney starts to answer the question posed, she is interrupted by the marching band, Hawai'ian, Jewish, and other student association members all parading into the debate effectively turning it into a Sydney White rally. Audience members, one by one, stand up to admit their true passions and why they are, therefore, all dorks. The term dork becomes one of empowerment for all people who are true to themselves, not putting on façades, and striving to value all others for their own unique individualities. Rachel is defeated in the election by a landslide, and "The Vortex" is saved from the wrecking ball by Sydney's father and everyone pitching in to fix it up into a darling cottage suitable for the new student body president and her seven dorks. As they are painting and fixing, Terrence pulls up in a hot new sports car and announces that he's just sold his new probability software to iBet.com for $10,000,000. Will the perennial college student now stay in college forever? Lenny ends up with Dinky, Gerken ends up with the fan of his blog, and Spanky is selected by a Volkswagon® convertible Beetle® full of co-eds to be their guide, and Sydney, of course gets her handsome prince. Everything ends happily ever after just as it should in a fairy tale.
The Dorks and their Dwarf Equivalents:
• Jack Carpenter...Lenny = Sneezy
• Jeremy Howard...Terrence = Doc
• Adam Hendershott...Jeremy = Bashful
• Danny Strong...Gurkin = Grumpy
• Samm Levine...Spanky = Happy
• Arnie Pantoja...George = Dopey
• Donté Bonner... Embele = Sleepy
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