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Review #632 of 365
Movie Review of The Ruins (2008) [R] 91 minutes
WIP™ Scale: $4.75
Where Viewed: Harkins Ciné Capri at Northfield 18, Denver, CO
When Seen: 5 April 2008
Time: 8:30 pm
DVD Release Date: 8 July 2008 (click date to purchase or pre-order)
Film's Official Website • Film's Trailer
Directed by: Carter Smith (Bugcrush)
Screenplay by: Scott B. Smith (A Simple Plan) based on the novel by Scott B. Smith
Featured Cast (Where You Might Remember Him/Her From):
Jonathan Tucker (In the Valley of Elah) • Jena Malone (Into the Wild) • Shawn Ashmore (X-men: The Last Stand) • Laura Ramsey (The Covenant) • Joe Anderson (Across the Universe) • Sergio Calderón (Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End) • Jesse Ramirez (Constantine) • Balder Moreno (debut) • Dimitri Baveas (debut)
Click for 'Review Lite' [a 150-word or less review of this film]
Click to see photos from the Premiere of The Ruins
Click to read the spoiler points for The Ruins
Think quickly and you'll be smart enough to skip this hogwash pseudo teen horror flick. Despite the young and beautiful cast and slickly scary trailer with that awesome sound effect that reverberates through one's bones, um, this film couldn't possible be more ineffectual in its aims if its goals were to thrill, chill, and entertain that is rather its bore, snore, and needless gore. Theoretically, the premise is kind of good though it violates an awful lot of rules. A group of four [note: violates rule #1 of good horror films: you need at least 6 young people 17-23 preferably 4 women and 2 men otherwise once you kill off one, what's left?] college kids vacationing in Mexico get invited by a suspicious dude named Mathias (Joe Anderson) to go the next day to see a cool Mayan ruin that's off the tourist map [note: violates rule #1 of vacationing in a foreign country: don't go to places off the tourist map, there's a tourist map for a reason].
…violates an awful lot of rules…
Jeff (Jonathan Tucker) is a pre-med soon to be going off to med school. Amy (Jena Malone) is his very needy girlfriend. Stacy (Laura Ramsey) is her best friend. Eric (Shawn Ashmore) is her boyfriend. After some cajoling, Jeff, who's wanted to do something more culturally stimulating than lie on the beach and drink margaritas, convinces the group to take the leap and go on this adventure—and he's supposed to be the really smart one [note: violates rule #2 of vacationing in a foreign country: don't go anywhere with suspicious dudes with foreign names that don't match those of the foreign country]. Oh, Mathias says his relatives have been exploring this newly discovered temple and it's going to be so amazing. That evening when the night is young, Jeff hits the hay early, but Amy wants to party it up…with Mathias. Fortunately, Stacy gets in the way and gets the one-margarita-too-many Amy back to her bungalow safely. The next morning, Amy wakes up pretty hung over and really wanting to stay back and rest rather than traipse around in the jungle looking at old ruins [note: violates rule #3 of vacationing in a foreign country: always trust your instincts they are usually dead on (no pun intended)]. But, of course, Jeff can be so persuasive given his massive brain and all. So, Mathias, Jeff, may, Eric, and Stacy all head off to…THE RUINS (hence the title). They get close to their destination when the cab that drops them off, drops them off. Hmm, yes, in the middle of the jungle. He will go no further [note: violates rule #1 of being taken places by cab in a foreign country: If the cab driver won't go some place, there's probably a very good reason]. So, as they hop out they realize that the cab is going to speed away leaving them virtually stranded. Oh, but lo and behold, Mathias's phone will be able to pick up a signal in the middle of the jungle. It's a special European satellite phone that can do that [violates rule #1 of going off the tourist map with a virtual foreign stranger into the heart of the jungle where even the cab driver won't go: never believe in crazy technology that the guy whose lured you on this trip says will work when you need it]. So poor Amy despite still being a bit under the weather and not having wanted to traipse through the deepest, darkest, jungliest part of the jungle to see some old pile of rocks goes along with it. They travel on foot a bit and lo and behold they come upon a spectacular Mayan pyramid straight out of Indiana Jones and the Temple of…what was it? Oh yeah, "DOOM".
…violates an awful lot of rules…and yes that's a repeat of the same block quote above
Of course, Mathias's relatives are nowhere to be found. That, in and of itself doesn't violate any rules of traveling in a foreign country with a foreign dude who's not from the country to a hidden ruin off the tourist map, but it certainly violates every single rule of basic, 101 common sense doesn't it that you'd all run toward the ruins and begin to frolic about and such and so on? Well, common sense went out the window in the first frame of this film, so you'll have to willfully suspend it if you plan to watch any further for what happens next will shock if not astonish, and the movie that follows that, well, it's just keeps getting worse and worse until the ending which will be spoiled in the spoiler but not here for those who don't like to have things spoiled, but the ending let's just say, there is no ending but there might be an ending in a sequel if they make a sequel which they undoubtedly will make a sequel if people flock to see this film to the tune of just enough money to make gambling on a sequel or, at least, a straight to DVD sequel, worth the investment. Which, of course, presents a problem because if it's going to drive you crazy to find out what happens to any of the characters that survive the onslaught that ensues atop THE RUINS you'll have to pay to see this to ensure a sequel and some possible answers, but then you could just not see it and not worry about it because you'll never be made curious. Of course, there will be some people that won't be curious, they'll just be sorry they forked over hard-earned money or sacrificed time they could have spent changing the oil in their car to see this film so there's no way they'll pay to see a sequel to find out anything. Well, you have to decide for yourself what you're going to do.
Following up on this, you might like to know a little about:
The Acting:
• Jonathan Tucker: decently creepy, but mostly a waste of his talent and time
• Jena Malone: waste of her talent and time
• Shawn Ashmore: he possibly had more lines and screen time in X-Men I.
• Laura Ramsey: you've got to love her painstaking grimace
The Directing:
• Carter Smith directed this film. He is best known for a film short called Bugcrush. If you have seen and enjoyed Bugcrush, you should let it be the film for which Carter Smith is remembered in your mind. If you did not see it or did not enjoy it, well, this is not the film to introduce you to Carter Smith or you are definitely not going to enjoy this either. In all fairness to Carter Smith, you have to start directing somewhere within the feature-length film industry, and sometimes that means directing teen horror films and working your way up. There are some things he does pretty well in this film. The pacing is pretty good during the times when things are happening. He didn't write the thing, and there are times when nothing happens but a lot of standing around waiting for something to happen. He got the sets right and the action right. The special effects are a bit cheesy and fake looking at times, especially the creepy vines. The lighting is good. The sound is outrageously ominous.
The Story:
• The ads say the film is based on the best-seller. Hmm…maybe it's time to sit down and read the book instead because if this is the same story as the book, somebody's gone cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs on the NY Times Best-seller list editing desk. The story has some awesome potential, but the realization of that story here in this particular film was just not very good. It was not as pointless as the Hostel films, but darn close. And, if you didn't quite figure it out from above, there is no ending. What there is implies a sequel, and I know how mad that makes a lot of people especially after sitting there for 91 minutes. Well, too bad. Take it up with Carter Smith or Scott B. Smith. Speaking of Scott B. Smith, he wrote the novel and the screenplay, so maybe the book isn't much better after all. I say, never judge a book by the movie, usually.
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Other Projects Featuring The Ruins (2008)
Cast Members
Jonathan Tucker • Jena Malone • Shawn Ashmore
Laura Ramsey • Joe Anderson • Sergio Calderón
Jesse Ramirez • Balder Moreno • Dimitri Baveas
Director
Carter Smith
Writer
Scott B. Smith
Review-lite
The Ruins (2008) [max of 150 words]
Don't ruin your weekend by seeing The Ruins starring Jonathan Tucker, Jena Malone, Shawn Ashmore, Laura Ramsey, and Joe Anderson as a group of 20 somethings that set off to explore some ancient ruins and end up ruining their own vacation when the ruins turn out to be a lot more ruinous than they bargained for. Unfortunately, cheesy effects, manufactured drama, and zero ending leave this film destined for status as a relic.
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