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Review #269 of 365
Film: Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006) [R] 84 minutes
WIP™ Scale: $03.50
Where Viewed: United Artists Denver Pavilions Stadium 15, Denver, CO
When 1st Seen:7 October 2006
Time: 4:45 p.m.
Directed by: Jonathan Liebesman (Darkness Falls)
Screenplay by: Sheldon Turner (The Longest Yard)
Story by: Sheldon Turner & David J. Schow
Featured Cast (Where You Might Remember Him/Her From):
Jordana Brewster (Annapolis) • Taylor Handley ("The O.C.") • Diora Baird (Accepted) • Matthew Bomer (Flightplan) • R. Lee Ermey (X-Men: The Last Stand) • Andrew Bryniarski (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre) • Marietta Marich (Rushmore)
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Click for 'Review Lite' [a 150-word or less review of this film]
I won't even start without mentioning that The Texas Chainsaw Massacre series has had a huge following for over 30 years and that stars like Dennis Hopper, Renee Zellweger, Matthew McConaughey, and Viggo Mortensen have starred on screen under the TCM chainsaw. Nor will I fail to mention that as 'luck' would have it, I got my start with the TCM series where it should begin, at the Beginning just yesterday. It's probably well established now that I am not a fan of grisly, bloody, murderous rampage movies. So, I've never seen any of the other films. This review, therefore, is 'cleanly' based solely on this film, not the franchise, not the previous actors, not the previous stories. I imagine, if I were a fan of this type of film and of this series in specific, and if I had seen the previous ones, it might be hard to give this film a fair review for either I would be biased that this wasn't as good as previous ones or was far better. Finally, for the record, just because a person doesn't care for a certain genre of films does not mean he or she cannot still fairly review a film of that genre. In fact, I eagerly await the film of this particular genre, which I will argue to the hilt is NOT part of the horror genre but rather a subgenre that moves out of pure horror and into what I call the grisly, bloody, murderous rampage (GBMR). This is the ugly step child of horror that really isn't masterful. It impacts or effects strictly because it is grisly and bloody. And, bear with me, but if you like these movies and champion them as great film, which I find particularly bold, ask yourself this one question. How many times during the movie do you find yourself saying, "Don't go in there? Don't do that? How stupid are you?" If you find yourself asking that a lot, this isn't masterful horror. Masterful horror is An American Werewolf in London or Silence of the Lambs. With or without the same levels of blood and gore, these true horror films are psychologically horrible and suspenseful. Plus, they have one final thing that these GBMR films nearly never have, a hero you want to see live. They aren't populated with current teen actors de jour whom you know are going to get killed one-by-one until there are none left. Oh, and if one does manage to get away, just know there's a sequel coming around the bend and this person will only be seen in a psych ward in scene #1 wearing a straight jacket and still having nightmares over all of her friends being killed by a guy with some new implement of death Freddy Krueger-style. These films build their following, but they really are not, in general, good films.
Still, I promised a clean review of TCM: The Beginning, so here goes. The story, written by Sheldon Turner and directed by Jonathan Liebesman, starts out pre-credits with a female meat-packing inspector in a horrible, disgusting Texas meat packing plant in 1939. She asks for a bathroom break, which her boss refuses, and suddenly lets loose in her spot. But, she's not lost control of her bladder as you might thin, instead we find out as she falls backwards onto the filthy, rat-infested floor, she's just had her water break, and she shortly thereafter nearly jettisons out a hideously deformed mutant baby. The boss does what any 'normal' boss would do in such a situation with such a creature, he puts it in the dumpster where it is found crying the next day by Luda Mae Hewitt (Marietta Marich) who names it Thomas, and raises it as her own child. With such a 'loving' mother, how does Thomas turn out so deranged? Is it the influence of the patriarch of the family played by R. Lee Ermey whom, according to Luda Mae, catalyzes a chain of violence and the murderous cannibalism of her now grown, meat carving son, Tommy when he kills the Sheriff and assumes his identity? Well, whatever, just getting past the opening credits of this film nearly requires an iron-cast stomach as we see flashes of images of flesh being de-boned and cut into edible chunks and sewn together and on and on in some of the most grisly and stomach-churning footage I've ever witnessed and nearly more horrible than anything later in the film. So, while that's sort of going on, we meet up with a Jeep®-load of kids, four actually, two brothers, Dean (Taylor Handley) and Eric (Matthew Bomer), and their respective girlfriends, Bailey (Diora Baird) and Chrissie (Jordana Brewster), heading across Texas to the military base where Dean will be joining older brother in his first tour of active duty in Vietnam. Dean has secret plans to flee with Bailey to Mexico and dodge the draft which he doesn't want Eric to find out about. As the foursome frolic in cheap motels with the boys trying to get their final mojo out, Chrissie suspects that Dean and Bailey are hiding something, but what? All of this back story has little if anything to do with anything, and if it's to make us care about these four, it doesn't. Not enough to root for their escape from the hands of the new and not so improved Sheriff Hoyt and his murderous nephew Tommy "Leatherface" Hewit (Andrew Bryniarski) and the roaring rev of his chainsaw.
Still, I promised a clean review of TCM: The Beginning, so here goes. The story, written by Sheldon Turner and directed by Jonathan Liebesman, starts out pre-credits with a female meat-packing inspector in a horrible, disgusting Texas meat packing plant in 1939. She asks for a bathroom break, which her boss refuses, and suddenly lets loose in her spot. But, she's not lost control of her bladder as you might thin, instead we find out as she falls backwards onto the filthy, rat-infested floor, she's just had her water break, and she shortly thereafter nearly jettisons out a hideously deformed mutant baby. The boss does what any 'normal' boss would do in such a situation with such a creature, he puts it in the dumpster where it is found crying the next day by Luda Mae Hewitt (Marietta Marich) who names it Thomas, and raises it as her own child. With such a 'loving' mother, how does Thomas turn out so deranged? Is it the influence of the patriarch of the family played by R. Lee Ermey whom, according to Luda Mae, catalyzes a chain of violence and the murderous cannibalism of her now grown, meat carving son, Tommy when he kills the Sheriff and assumes his identity? Well, whatever, just getting past the opening credits of this film nearly requires an iron-cast stomach as we see flashes of images of flesh being de-boned and cut into edible chunks and sewn together and on and on in some of the most grisly and stomach-churning footage I've ever witnessed and nearly more horrible than anything later in the film. So, while that's sort of going on, we meet up with a Jeep®-load of kids, four actually, two brothers, Dean (Taylor Handley) and Eric (Matthew Bomer), and their respective girlfriends, Bailey (Diora Baird) and Chrissie (Jordana Brewster), heading across Texas to the military base where Dean will be joining older brother in his first tour of active duty in Vietnam. Dean has secret plans to flee with Bailey to Mexico and dodge the draft which he doesn't want Eric to find out about. As the foursome frolic in cheap motels with the boys trying to get their final mojo out, Chrissie suspects that Dean and Bailey are hiding something, but what? All of this back story has little if anything to do with anything, and if it's to make us care about these four, it doesn't. Not enough to root for their escape from the hands of the new and not so improved Sheriff Hoyt and his murderous nephew Tommy "Leatherface" Hewit (Andrew Bryniarski) and the roaring rev of his chainsaw.
"If you thought the Bates Motel was bad, welcome to a new house of horrors."
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Well, needless to say, they are captured by the Sheriff who takes them back to his house as he has designs on a new and endless supply of food for his family, tourists. He quickly hangs the two boys by their wrists like animals in a meat packing plant, and Bailey is chained under the kitchen table for unknown reasons. While Chrissie, who was thrown from the Jeep® crash that got them 'rescued' by the Sheriff in the first place, stumbles up to the house with visions of becoming G.I. Jane (am I the only one who notices a distinct resemblance not just physical but personality-wise between Jordana Brewster and Demi Moore?) and rescuing her friends. Unfortunately, she's injured herself, and let's say she's not as clever as Bruce Willis's John McClane when it comes to creating a rescue plan. Do I have to tell you she gets caught too? Well, there's no need to worry about giving away plot because this film is a prequel, so you know that Leatherface lives on. You know that none of these four poor, dumb kids escapes. So, the only mystery is how long they will survive and what grisly, sick, morbid, twisted way will the writers think of to torture them before killing them. So, as for the story, it's not that great. It's pretty bloody and gruesome. Were I the owner of a theatre, I'd provide complimentary barf bags for the opening credits and one incredibly sad and depraved scene where Leatherface gets his name. But, it's all very predictable and incredibly pointless.
"There's a new Sheriff in town."
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So, was the acting good? It was fair. Other than Sheriff Hoyt's role, I'm not sure that the other roles required much acting skill. It doesn't require good acting to lie chained to a bed and scream for half an hour or to run around a farm with a chainsaw trying to saw people up. R. Lee Ermey puts on quite a show (worth the extra 50-cents I gave this film above the $3 it deserves), but we're not talking award nominations here.
And you know what? Finally, I'm kind of sick and tires of people saying you aren't looking for great stories and great acting in horror movies. You are looking for horror, grisly murders, blood, guts, and gore, and that's it, that's the point. If there's a lot of that, it's a classic. It's Hostel or it's The Hills Have Eyes. I apologize for having my opinion, but I think that's pure rubbish. Imagine if every filmmaker took that approach. I don't need a great story and great acting in my dramatic film or my comedy, I just need drama or jokes. Huh? Isn't that the definition of a bad movie? Why can't people make horror films with a great story, great characters, and great acting? Uh, oh, guess what? They can, it's called Aliens. But it takes a lot more work and money than it does to schlock these other GBMR movies together. Is it scary to watch a person get a chain saw shoved through a car seat and then through them as they are driving the get away car? Sure. It's scary. But, it's an easy scare that has nothing to do with anything. It's the basic fear of death in a gruesome way. A series of such things strung together with some back story about a mutant deformed baby being born in a meat packing plant and raised by a depraved cannibal family so he grows up to kill as many people as possible with a chainsaw, doesn't make it a much better movie.
And you know what? Finally, I'm kind of sick and tires of people saying you aren't looking for great stories and great acting in horror movies. You are looking for horror, grisly murders, blood, guts, and gore, and that's it, that's the point. If there's a lot of that, it's a classic. It's Hostel or it's The Hills Have Eyes. I apologize for having my opinion, but I think that's pure rubbish. Imagine if every filmmaker took that approach. I don't need a great story and great acting in my dramatic film or my comedy, I just need drama or jokes. Huh? Isn't that the definition of a bad movie? Why can't people make horror films with a great story, great characters, and great acting? Uh, oh, guess what? They can, it's called Aliens. But it takes a lot more work and money than it does to schlock these other GBMR movies together. Is it scary to watch a person get a chain saw shoved through a car seat and then through them as they are driving the get away car? Sure. It's scary. But, it's an easy scare that has nothing to do with anything. It's the basic fear of death in a gruesome way. A series of such things strung together with some back story about a mutant deformed baby being born in a meat packing plant and raised by a depraved cannibal family so he grows up to kill as many people as possible with a chainsaw, doesn't make it a much better movie.
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Click for 'Review Lite' [a 150-word review of this film]
Click for 'Review Lite' [a 150-word review of this film]
Other Projects Featuring
Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006)
Cast Members
Jordana Brewster
• Taylor Handley• Diora BairdMatthew Bomer
• R. Lee Ermey• Andrew BryniarskiMarietta Marich
Director
Jonathan Liebesman
Writer
Sheldon Turner
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Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006) Review-lite [150-word cap]
Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning, written by Sheldon Turner and directed by Jonathan Liebesman, begins with the birth of baby Leatherface to a meat-inspector mother in a meat packing plant. The hideously deformed child is abandoned in a dumpster and rescued by cannibalistic family matriarch Luda Mae Hewitt (Marietta Marich) who, along with her brother who becomes Sheriff Hoyt when he kills the real sheriff and assumes his identity (R. Lee Ermey), raises the child to become a rampaging chain saw murderer. Who does he have to kill and eat? Four teenagers on their way across Texas so the brothers (Taylor Handley and Matthew Bomer) can be shipped off to Vietnam. Girlfriends (Diora Baird and Jordana Brewster) have little power to try and save them all from their far too grisly, pointless, mutilations and torturous deaths making for a marginal horror film. Brilliant, classic horror is possible, go rent Aliens.
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