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Spoiler Points for Strange Wilderness (2008) [R] 87 minutes
WIP™ Scale: $3.00
DVD Release Date: 19 August 2008 (click date to purchase or pre-order)
Film's Official Website • Film's Trailer
Click to read the non-spoiler review
Spoiler Points:
• Screwball THC-head, Peter Gaulke (the character not the co-writer of the film played by Steve Zahn) tries to catch footage of Big Foot to save his inherited tv show "Strange Wilderness" from extinction due to low 3 a.m. ratings.
• He and his moronic film crew, whom together lack the brain capacity of an agar gel used to culture bacteria, gather up in an aged RV to make the trip to get the map to Big Foot's location from a paranoid ex soldier friend of Peter's father who offers it up for $1000.
• They arrive, after enduring a vicious shark attack on one crew member, too late. The map's been sold to a competitor named Sky Pierson (Harry Hamilin).
• An incident with a missing, important government turkey who mistakes, apparently, Peter's male appendage for lunch, lands them with $5000 for it's reward. They need it because they've got to get to S.A. fast to catch up with and scoop Pierson.
• At the border, Peter's poor attempt at humor with border guards lands them RV-less, so they have to fly to S.A.
• Once in S.A., they meet up with Dick (Blake Clark) who is supposed to guide them to meet their guide, Gus Hayden (Robert Patrick). Which he does.
• After a rousing evening of sharing scar stories, where the script drills its incompetence home one more time, the truth about Gus's war wounds come to a not too pretty sight as he describes his emasculation and subsequent self-repair and then shows his handiwork to the group.
• They awake to find Cheryl (their travel coordinator played by Ashley Scott) and Gus gone along with all of their supplies.
• After scrounging around, Cheryl turns up with the map, and Dick plans on taking them to their destination himself. Unfortunately, he gets gobbled up by piranhas in the river. After eating the piranhas, they suddenly realize they are eating Dick. Things cannot get worse, until the stumble upon Sky Pierson's entourage dissected by a local tribe that doesn't like outsiders. Now they have gear and the resolve to find Big Foot.
• They follow the map and end up at a dead end until Cheryl wisely noted the map Bill Calhoun (Joe Don Baker) gave them is copied backwards. They follow it in reverse and end up at Big Foot's cave.
• They end up killing Big Foot at the end and then staging their massacre to look like Big Foot committed suicide.
• The station manager doesn't care for their video footage and cancels their show for good, that is until Peter gets the brilliant big idea to bring him footage of a shark attack. They're back on the air.
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