Spoiler Points for Nobel Son (2008)

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Spoiler Points for Nobel Son (2008) [R] 102 minutes
WIP™ Scale: $14.00
DVD Release Date: Unscheduled (please check back)
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Spoiler Points for Nobel Son

If you found a thumb buried in your popcorn causing you to convulse and run screaming from the theatre to find out who it belongs to and you missed the rest of Nobel Son, this spoiler is for you.

• Barkley Michaelson (Bryan Greenberg) is kidnapped by Thaddeus James (Shawn Hatosy) in his home the morning he was supposed to meet his parents for their trip to Stockholm to celebrate his father's awarding of the Nobel Prize in Chemistry.
• When Thaddeus phones Eli Michaelson (Alan Rickman) demanding the ransom money, Eli hangs up suspecting his son is just fooling around.
• Thaddeus threatens to cut off his thumb to prove to his parents that he's serious about collecting the $2 million ransom.
• Thaddeus ships Eli and Sarah (Mary Steenbergen) a thumb, but they cannot be sure it's Barkley's.
• In the process of revealing his plans to Barkley, Thaddeus explains that Eli is also his father. You see, Eli was fooling around with his mom decades ago, and got her pregnant causing his father to commit suicide because he knew he was sterile. So, the man he thought was his father really wasn't, and he determined that Eli was his father making Barkley his half-brother. [It's not explained how Thaddeus comes into this information or if it's even true—it might not be as we later learn that Thaddeus was in a mental institution for years.]
• He also possesses Thaddeus James's research notebook proving that Eli stole Herman James's research that he then used to craft his theories that won him the Nobel Prize.
• He also possesses many Polaroids® of Eli engaging with countless young women.
• Barkley urges him to let him join in on the plot as he has no love for his father either.
• They ask that the ransom money be put in to the trunk of a red Mini-Cooper on display at Puentes Point Mall. When Eli has trouble dealing with the money, Sarah makes the drop. Max Mariner (Bill Pullman) have the mall staked out, but what they don't account for it that Thaddeus has previously installed a remote control driving system in the Mini-Cooper, and had the parts for a new one shipped to a mall store under construction.
• In one of the coolest ransom heists ever, Barkley in disguise, shows up and drives the car. As the police scramble to get a hold of it, Thaddeus assembles the replacement in the store. Barkley crashes it through the wall and seemingly drives it out the other side, but really, it's been swapped with the new one. Thaddeus opens the trunk, takes the money, empties it into a trash bag, and drops it down the trash shoot into his awaiting trash truck.
• They split the money $1 million apiece. Barkley's share is put in a bus locker 6 hours away from home and is forced to swallow the key. Then Thaddeus beats him to within an inch of his life so it will look like the kidnapper left him for dead in the concrete waterways of LA. He is recovered, barefoot and bloody. He refuses to go to the hospital, so his mom and dad take him home. He recovers quickly, but Max Mariner has some questions about his abductor. Things get even more complicated when the neighbor Mr. Gastner (Danny DeVito) who lives in the garage apartment is found dead in the tub with a toaster. Sarah is anxious to rent out the place, and who should magically show up to step in but Thaddeus James and his girlfriend, City Hall. Meanwhile, Max begins to wonder about City and details that don't add up. Barkley begins to figure out that Thaddeus set him up to take the fall for the kidnapping and worm his way into the life of the father he never knew. At which point, he and his mom, now aware of his father's philandering ways, conceive of a new plan that ends up with a yellow Mini-Cooper squashing Thaddeus, and Sarah happily divorced living on a tropical island with her new beau, Max. There's a breast made of marzipan in there somewhere for good measure. Come on, just go back and see this awesome movie again!

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