Movie Review of Epic Movie (2007)


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Review #379 of 365
Movie Review of Epic Movie (2007) [PG-13] 86 minutes
WIP™ Scale: $4.00
Where Viewed: Colorado Cinemas Cherry Creek 8, Denver, CO
When 1st Seen: 26 January 2007
Time: 7:30 p.m.
Film's Official WebsiteFilm's Trailer
DVD Release Date: unscheduled

Directed by: Jason Friedberg (debut) and Aaron Seltzer (Date Movie)
Written by: Jason Friedberg (Date Movie) and Aaron Seltzer (Date Movie)

Featured Cast (Where You Might Remember Him/Her From):
Kal Penn (Van Wilder 2: The Rise of Taj) • Adam Campbell (Date Movie) • Jennifer Coolidge (For Your Consideration) • Jayma Mays ("Heroes") • Faune A. Chambers (The Cutting Edge 2: Going for the Gold ) • Crispin Glover (Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle) • Tony Cox (Date Movie) • Héctor Jiménez (Nacho Libre) • Darrell Hammond ("Saturday Night Live") • Carmen Electra (Scary Movie 4) • Fred Willard (For Your Consideration)

Soundtrack: order the CD below


Click for 'Review Lite' [a 150-word or less review of this film]
The udderly luminous Date Movie guys from 2006 return full throttle with the same Scary Movieish humor they got Rent-A-Center® style from the Scary Movie monopoly 2 spoof chick flicks with their lenses aimed at fourteen-hour, saggy drawers, saga pix, also called epix, hence Epic Movie this time around. Soundz all fine 2 me & all 'cuz cuz, after all, no cat's climbed that cat nip pole b4. Wicked funny intros 2 the 4 he-roz john doed Edward (Kal-El Pen), Peter (Adam Campbell's Soup), Lucy (Jayma Mays or Mays Not), and Susan (Faune A. Chambers of Horrors) makes believe with reality that the whole film's gonna' do a Conan O'Brien on your hang time. I gotta throw raves especially to the dudes for Borat-ing Nacho Libre to give us Edward, Snakes on a Plane to bring down Susan, and X-Men to power up Peter the mutant with a full spread of the Colonel's finger licking goods. Each finds a Golden Ticket to Willy's Factory Tour in a half gnawed chocolate bar in the process. As the foursome approach with caution, a tricked out Crispin Glover sends up Johnny Depp's hip rendition of Sean Puffy Combs of candy, free stylin' Willy W. L8r, they hip-hop it up in Willy's oompa land and the not so sick gross outs let loose when Edward goes gonzo on the sewer line thinking it's the hall of fame-bound chocolate Rio Grande. Willy animorphs into Jigsaw John giving it up that his candy's mystery ingredient is human body parts, and the heroes are next up. Fleeing from his master plan, Lucy opens a secret wardrobe and, after narrowly escaping death by avalanche as the contents spew forth, enters the tricked out world of Gnarnia. Mangy faun Mr. Tumnus (Héctor Inspector Jiménez) takes her MTV-style to his crib and give her up to the White Bi-atch (Stiffler's Mom). The other three enter Gnarnia, and the bedtime story comes to life with talking beavers and a lion man maned Aslo (Phred Willard).

"…too lame to explain."
Peeps and Peepettes, quit your Simon Cowelling and try some Paula Abdul on me. That's the work of Jason Friedeggiceberg and Aaron Al-Ka-Seltzer not me. Some dude's got major Gs and bling blang to blow on this one-joke wonder. My main man Mr. T. used to say, "I piddy the fool." Well, I piddy all the fools who toss down Andrew Jacksons @ Ralph Lauren Polo®-wearing megaplex ushers plus a fidy-cent fee to Fandango® to avoid the lines and see this waste of clock. If yellow snow soduko is your Thomas Edison of a good time, then be my guest, but my Jacksons will be better saved up for the full-sized popcorn when something worthy of my time shows up on screen. Who is it that keeps these movies off the straight-to-Netflix® queue in the first place? Please, stay home, you are ruining it for all of us. In 15 words or less, this picture is just plain, repetitive, and too lame to explain.


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Cast Members
Kal PennAdam CampbellJennifer Coolidge
Jayma MaysFaune ChambersCrispin Glover
Tony CoxHéctor JiménezDarrell Hammond
Carmen ElectraFred Willard
Co-Directors / Co-Writers
Jason FriedbergAaron Seltzer
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Epic Movie (2007) Review-lite [150-word cap]
Too lame to explain!

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